The application process for tenure-track university faculty positions in the US is often opaque and unclear. Job listings can be broad and vague and are sometimes difficult to find; clear guidelines for cover letters, research statements, and CVs are non-existent; interview formats vary drastically between departments, even in the same university or college. But fear not! All of these obstacles are surmountable, with sufficient preparation, of course. This talk will attempt to elucidate many of the aspects of the application process. Topics that will be covered include: a brief overview of the American university structure, job responsibilities of a tenure-track professor, how to find job listings, how to determine which universities and departments to apply to, and tips for applying, interviewing, and negotiating.